Sacramento, California – Defector, a renowned online publication, celebrated its fourth year by implementing an innovative plan to bolster its financial independence. In a move that surprised readers, the company organized a contest where subscribers had a chance to dine with Ray Ratto, one of their business-style experts. This extravagant prize was offered to readers who contributed at least $20 to the Defector tip jar.
Given that Defector’s readership primarily hails from the East Coast, the logistical feat of arranging the dinner in the Bay Area seemed daunting. However, to everyone’s amazement, the winner of the contest happened to reside in Sacramento, California. To dispel any doubts of rigging, a second winner was determined from Washington, D.C. Both winners bears the name Brian, with no legal background. As Ray Ratto’s alleged son and advisor, I accompanied the group and took on the role of the scribe.
Ray meticulously organized a tour that encompassed exclusive visits to wineries in Alameda, indulging in delectable lobster from a food truck, reveling in some delightful Cowboys schadenfreude at Almanac Brewing, and a surprise appearance by Ray’s wife, who snapped a memorable photograph shared on the blog. Both Sacramento Brian and D.C. Brian proved to be delightful company, engaging in a lengthy conversation about Northern California, much to the enjoyment of all present. Ray shared some of his beloved anecdotes, including the infamous Earl Strom story.
Reflecting on the day, Ray described it as a resounding success. The two Brians were far from irritating fanatics obsessing over trivial details, like the true nature of Brock Purdy, the renowned athlete. Instead, they shared captivating tales, such as California Brian’s misadventures assisting the Stockton mob during his summer break between eighth grade and freshman year. They exceeded expectations by being agreeable and engaging, a welcome departure from the typical reader. Ray expressed his excitement for the next contest, which would involve Defector’s Michigan Bureau and their thrilling venture known as “Biting Kneecaps.” It remains to be seen who will be enticed to fly to Detroit.
After bidding farewell to the winery region, the group reconvened at Ray’s local establishment to watch the Lions triumph over the Rams. Meanwhile, D.C. Brian witnessed my distress as I helplessly watched the Kings suffer a humiliating defeat. The evening ended on a spirited note, with Ray assuring me that he had dutifully filed his expense reports.